I am at a teeter tottering place in life right now. In the present, yet with all my soul in the future. Content, yet very dissatisfied. Missing nothing in my life, missing my whole world. I am very pleased with my consistency and discipline, I am ashamed of my lazyness and lethargy.
I am constantly impatient. In a phase of life I'd rather not endure, and would gladly snap my fingers and be done with, if I could. I want the future, I want the past back. And yet, even as I grasp what now I hold in my hands it is slipping through my fingers to no where.
What I feel to be entangling and imprisoning me will very quickly vanish from my life. I know. And I will be left wishing I had done more savouring, more dwelling, more cherishing of this part of me, of who I could be, that I've neglected so long.
You forget what diamonds some people are, as distance and time makes them into a face you must struggle to recognize.
You forget the thrill of a wind, a bird, a spray of sun and cloud. The exquisiteness of solitude and facing your soul in a mirror of words. I like my own company.
So yes... Time? Fly on! I'd have it so. My future gleams brightly still on that horizon. But as you fly, forgive me if I stay the current a little when smiles and laughter and hugs and quiet and conversation and good things embrace me. I will embrace them. Contented in this... In every snowflake every raindrop God sends splashing, dancing, greeting me on this road.
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