A Pair Of Wings.

Today is a day of a million feelings. A day of being home, and a day of being far far away.

I woke up this morning with a little lump in my throat and tugging on my heart, just a little, reminding myself that this was my last morning and my last day. And yet, everything around me spoke of comfort, of love, almost a false sense of security that I wasn't going anywhere. "I'm here. I'm still home."

Dishes being clanged and voices laughing and talking downstairs in the kitchen. A special breakfast being made, I remembered, in honour of our leaving. I started shoving my last few things into my suitcase. A few books, a skirt, a sweater. little things.

I looked at the clock. 2 hours.. only 2 hours left. We all sat down to a delicious breakfast, after a preliminary family selfie. Talking-talking-talking for the last time. Comfort all I feel, I love these people, my family. I love being me, more genuinely me than at any other time.

And after breakfast we're packing suitcases into the van, and the moments tick by faster and faster. And I begin the feel a little sick, and the tugging at my heart feels a little stronger. Now, I know I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry hard, and I won't be able to talk, and I wish it weren't so hard.

But it's the hardest just as we pull away, and first few miles of road take me further and further from the people that I love so much. But an hour or two down the road, something else starts trickling in. A gleam of hope. Is that what hope looks like? a little sparkle of excitement. Not the dying embers, but something new- just beginning and destined to grow bigger and bigger, and take over my whole being and gleam through my eyes eventually, defying all attempts at concealment. But then, who wants to conceal joy? It's a blessing and it's a wonderful thing. And let me say- if you ever feel the leastest gleam of happiness or joy or thrillingness in your life--- grasp at it- with everything you've got. revel in it. indulge in it. It's strength.

And so- by the time you've gotten to the airport and checked all your luggage in and gone through security and finally sit for a moment, just waiting now to board the flight-- All you can really think about is not what you've left behind anymore, but what's ahead. What's ahead? I have no idea- except that it will be utterly thrilling and different and interesting and challenging and entirely a good thing.

Next comes the flight- on a pair of wings high above earth and all earthly things. Similarly my spirit soaring and teaching me to believe- believe in the future and the present and the God who is my guide until my death. Every moment and I get a little more tense and nervous and excited as I just wait now for the boarding call. And we'll be off.