I Have Learned.

If I were to tell you that this semester of college has been something horrible, you wouldn’t believe me, because its not true. But I couldn’t tell you that its been completely wonderful either because there have been some shades of horribleness in its blend. But just enough… Like the right amount of horribleness. As if life would spoil me if it was too nice.
I have been taught a few lessons in thankfulness this year, in gossip, in kindness. I’ve seen people for their flaws, and I’ve seen them for their virtues… Striving rather to dwell on the virtues.
I’ve heard others gossiping and belittling others for their flaws, and my heart has cried a little because yes! They have flaws, but so do I, and so do you. And horrible things could easily be said about anyone on this campus and be what they wholly deserve.. but not what we should give them. And yet, even as I hear others gossiping how often do I judge them in my heart and therefore become a hypocrite myself?
I’ve learned lessons in weakness this semester. Weakness as in begging God to make me weak so He can be strong through me.. Because my ‘strength’ only tends to failing and hurting myself and hurting others.
I’ve learned to follow and trust God, listening to that little voice that says “yes,” and that peace that spurs me on when I would in confusion say “no.” I suppose life’s not even supposed to make sense sometimes.

I’ve learned a lot of things this semester. But how many times did I fail, and therefore fail to grasp what God was teaching me in the moment? Many times, I have no doubt.
And even these things I have learned… Certainly I will have to relearn them again and again, next semester, next summer, next year. Will I ever “arrive”? Unfortunately, I think not.

But I thank God for this moment, and that I can see in this moment these lessons and hopefully retain them and their influence a little longer for having written them out.

So forgive me for bragging about what I've learned.. I certainly would not ask of you admiration, but perhaps rather have mercy on my stupidness.

God bless you, Merry Christmas.